Tuesday, December 14, 2010

the shock of culture



Hmmm....I guess its about time for my annual blog.

So, its been just over a month since I left India. I'm still pretty sad about it. Honestly, its hard being in America with nothing to do. I have been traveling like a crazy person. In the last 6 weeks I've spent time in 5 different countries and three different states within America. thankfully I'll be in one place for the next couple weeks. In the midst of all this traveling I have been slowly processing leaving India... well, it may be more accurate to say i've been reacting to leaving India.

I guess I've been continuing to learn what i think is the biggest lesson the Lord has been teaching me through my time in India and now coming home: it's just life. While in India, most of the time i didn't feel like a "missionary". day to day life was pretty standard--taking care of the kids at the children's home and teaching at the school. majority of my time was not spent in what i would immediately call "ministry". but the Lord used it to open my eyes--i think for a while now i've been waiting; waiting for something big to do. And all the time i've spent waiting i've often missed it. missed the fact that we have the opportunity to bring God glory in the little things. when we live in the Spirit, exemplifying the fruit of the Spirt--that is what bring glory to God. When we interact with people in love, patience, and gentleness--that is the fruit of a life redeemed. a life that has been changed forever not because of anything we can do ourselves but because of God's great love. So, i must stop waiting for some big task to do for God and start [continue] living in His Spirit--moment by moment.

now. that being said--I am in America and it feels so.... pointless. I know, i know--saying that is contrary to this whole lesson God is teaching me of not waiting for something big... but it's honestly how i have felt majority of the time since leaving india. BUT--God reminded me the other day of this whole bring Him glory thing in day to day interactions with people. and its true--I have the opportunity, no matter where i am, no matter what i am doing--to bring Him glory. I have the opportunity to respond to people in gentleness and love instead of my natural tendency of being harsh and critical. I can live with joy and in continual hope instead of drowning in self pity and doubt. I can have peace by resting in Him instead of striving in my own strength to accomplish something. but it is a fight. my flesh is strong. there is an enemy consistently working to pull me down. just the same as it was in india--it is here.

So, here we go. No more waiting. Hebrews 12:1-3.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." --Mother Teresa

[life is beautiful].