It has been five months since i've been back from India. five months. thats a long time and i havent really done anything. Sarah graduated, Kelly ummm....had her wedding, i worked a full WEEK of volleyball camps, worked as a telemarketer for about four days (worst job ever.) and i saw a whole lot of people. time well spent i say. but in the midst of it all i have felt a bit....restless? dissatisfied? complacent?
i must confess (to michelle i guess....if she still checks this?) that this summer i almost completely sold out to the american way. I came back from india knowing that i would be going back to india, knowing that in india i dont get to do what i want, i dont get to be comfortable, i dont 'get' to be selfish--so i came back with the attitude that i was, what i wanted was...well, what mattered (that is the american way, right?). So awful. and so clearly idiotic when i write it out. and so clearly contrary to scripture.
and do you know what i found out?
life is empty when you live it for yourself. utterly, completely empty. i found out that Jesus was speaking truth when He said, "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matt 16:25) Thank God the truth is in me. Thank God for His grace to keep me from selling out completely. So here i go, not just in two weeks hopefully, but now--losing my life for His sake.
all this is not to say that i have hated my time here. i have had some amazing times with some amazing people. some of my favorite people in the world. and in the midst of my frustration with the american way of life i have a deep love for america and have had the privilege of seeing some of her wonders while i have been home. So, here are some pictures to let you know that i have been happy to be home (despite my attitude issues...), and i will be happy to go :)
at kelly and matt's wedding :)
i got to live with this girl and her amazing family!
these guys came to visit and we saw the amazing Maroon Bells
in Utah this past weekend...delicate arch
and these are some of the beautiful faces i will see when i get to India!
God is good. Thank goodness He has made known His truth.
life is beautiful.
1 comment:
I get the whole selling out to the American way. It's a life of convenience. You get what you want when you want it. I pray to be that sold out to life in the Spirit.
Also a bit offended my picture is not in this hall of fame. Ahem. Just saying :)
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